dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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