I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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