At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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