So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
