I wish I could teleport
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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