I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
