your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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