So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
