um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest