If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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