I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
