I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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