Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
