He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
