But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize