from now on my penis is your penis
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
