What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
