Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
