There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
