he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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