You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
