Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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