Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
