I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't