did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize