but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
