OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize