so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
