Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
