so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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