ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
