areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba