I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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