i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN