He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
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My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"