shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?