can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
