gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
how does that bad decision feel?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
