Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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