ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
