i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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