Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
