What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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