So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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