escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
