Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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