i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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