STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
