Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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