yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.