Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(669): View more from California

I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

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(669): I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation. http://tfl.nu/imft

Replies (10) Good night (1023) Bad night (774)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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(240): Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use. http://tfl.nu/hbuk

Replies (15) Good night (520) Bad night (2485) Order T-Shirt
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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(504): I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car. http://tfl.nu/on2m

Replies (10) Good night (2022) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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(334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr

Replies (39) Good night (1317) Bad night (5466) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks

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(703): relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/2hg2

Replies (3) Good night (3819) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

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(718): He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/c0nn

Replies (11) Good night (2170) Bad night (4825) Order T-Shirt
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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(709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n

Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond

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(415): handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond http://tfl.nu/umuj

Replies (19) Good night (2345) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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(951): View more from California

Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.

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(951): Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails. http://tfl.nu/29ec

Replies (13) Good night (2045) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...

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(770): Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me... http://tfl.nu/5vx9

Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (2208)
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(512): View more from Texas

BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

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(512): BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS http://tfl.nu/z5cf

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg

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(419): Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg http://tfl.nu/keiy

Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection

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(314): A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection http://tfl.nu/gf0u

Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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(870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj

Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.

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(865): My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs. http://tfl.nu/mqhq

Replies (3) Good night (134) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt

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