We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
