After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
