Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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