it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
