Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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