I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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