i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize