she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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