You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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