at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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