Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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