dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
